And her thighs. And her breasts. And her back.
Her wishes. Her desires.
Her present now.
The sacred feminine isn’t over there like, “I wish I had a thigh gap. And I will only be comfortable in myself when I lose this flab off my belly. And I NEED the six pack abs. And when I finally get the handstand… then thats when I’ll love myself…”
Looking outside herself for her own healing and bliss…
She’s compassionate. She’s wise. She’s in touch with her ability to heal, nurture, and relax.
She’s sexual, wise, understanding, fertile, and she knows her power.
She sees herself as whole and has unconditional love for herself, the planet, and those around her.
She dives into her shadow and acknowledges it with her light.
She allows herself to change, morph, and shape shift in dimension, size, and time.
To me, trapped in the world of “making my belly look thin and ripped and perfect” is a sure sign of dis-connect from the feminine inside. The healer. The knower. The medicine woman. The power inside of you.
I’ve had my fair share of belly shame, since I was a young girl.
I remember being in a bathing suit and looking down and just thinking to myself in comparison to others around me and in photos- “There must be something wrong with me.” (I was always quite thin but I have a stretch-mark-like-part of my belly that always felt wrong.)
At that time, I clearly did not understand…
- Health at every size and all women having a divinely different shape.
- That a woman’s body naturally has a little more fat on the midsection than a mans.
- The women in the images I saw were either airbrushed and fixed up or starved to get themselves to that place.
- My worth is not body-dependent
We can’t deny at this point that a slender belly signifies that “we have finally gotten control.”
Contrary to that whole belief, skinny does not necessarily mean healthy. (Something to continuously remind ourselves.)
I could give you handfuls of women I’ve worked with and people I know who…
- Eat fast food and look thin
- Get bloated every time they eat, but on the outside they’ve “got it all together” as health celebrities and fitness competitors
- Are underweight with a recovering anorexia, yet don’t get their periods and are experiencing hormonal imbalances and digestive imbalance of all sorts.
In society we tend to believe that absence of dis-ease, and presence of physical beauty, shape, and fitness dictates health.
I would encourage you to see what you don’t see and go deeper here.
Health is not simply the absence or inclusion of these superficialities but also an emotionally balanced demeanor, a relaxed nervous system, an ability to ‘think straight’ and have clear brain waves, a nicely flowing breath pattern, a body able to perform daily functions and digest with ease. Health can be measured in sleep, sex, laughter, joy, and dance, too.
The media gives us images that portray that control, discipline, and denial is the route we need to take to get what we want. And I’m not bashing that completely. Having ritual, routine, and being devoted to specific practices can become the biggest blessing in our lives…
Taking control of what you put into and on your body as well… in no means bashing that either.
However, there is a massive difference between taking exquisite care of yourself + desperately trying in all attempts to get a specific set of abs.
I simply wonder if the constant stress of trying to be another shape disrupts the body’s ability to find weight homeostasis and ease.
I wonder if we’re trying so hard to achieve a set of “health goals” that aren’t even an accurate measure of health.
I wonder if the digestive stress that 2/3 of all women deal with is a direct result of the judgement, shame, and fear around the little rolls of fat that the solar plexus takes on.
I wonder what would happen in the world if each woman fell in love with the belly on her now.
…and if the sacred feminine would rise.
I also simply can’t help but re-ember these things.
The belly was revered in times past. Excess weight on the belly was seen as respectful and a sign of abundance. It was a signal of fertility and reproduction. Everything was considered sacred back in the day, and a belly of any size was perfect in itself.
The gut is the first place of instinct. What do you think happens when our #1 goal is to control, shrink, minimize, and make the belly perfect? The intuitive ability to listen to the body, hear answers, understand direction, and move forward with clarity shrinks as well.
There are better things to worry about in life. How much time and energy and space would free up in your space if you simply let your belly be? I created a whole business when I stopped focusing so intensely on mine. What about how you can serve others? How you can be a source of inspiration? How you can give your heart? Help heal a person, place, or situation? Use yourself for good. Don’t let your ab-obsessed mind use you.
Focusing on the things we don’t want is a sure way to make them stay. This is A Course in Miracles and The Secret 101. The more we focus on wanting, wanting, wanting… the easier it is for the body judgement we have now to stay. You don’t need to want to get thin or fix yourself by any means, but if you truly do- start thinking as if you had it now. Love your body as if you had it now. Thats the only way you will sustainably bring it in. Focus on feeling good from the inside out. It’s as easy as that.
It’s not your job to please people. Your true job… your dharma… your mission… your purpose at this time… that’s up to you. But it sure-as-hell is not to get your 4-pack to show, I can guarantee you that.
Start, slowly, letting go.
Connect into your female form, as you are.
She’s beautiful, all of you.
Your desires. Your rolls. Your pudge. Your dimples. Your belly fat. The funny bump on your lower left side. The stretch mark. The wrinkles.
Remember: being content and accepting where you are now is by no means a free ticket to and action-and-result-free life. You can have it all.
I personally love and accept myself deeply and daily, and I still work on my yoga practice, use mula bandha, and exercise my core.
You’re allowed to be a masterpiece and a work in progress, simultaneously.
S E E yourself. All of you.
Find the gratitude in your heart.
Place a hand on your belly now, with me, if you would.
“Thank you so much. I love you. I’m so sorry for all the judgement. Please forgive me.”
If you’re in the space, give yourself a mini abdominal massage, infusing some love inside.
Your body works with you, when you work with her.